Junior year. I thought at that time that it was going to be the worst year of my life but and I've had already declared sophomore year as the worst one. I started junior year in a new High School. I was scared and excited at the same time, I hated my previous high school, I was so tired of my "friends," and I tried everything to feel like I was an important part of the group. I was not. On the other hand, I was scared about the new school, I heard so many stories about bullying in that institution and of course I did not want to be a target. So, yes. I was scared and excited.
My first day of school went well, nobody bullied me, and that was an accomplishment. That same day I got a fever, my parents thought It was an emotional one. And for a moment I thought that too. I had a first day on a new school surrounded by new, cool and pretty girls, I felt like I was never going to fit in, to find a person I would really like, or to find someone to like me and be my friend for the 2 years left. I knew that was not gonna happen. I was the new girl on junior year. It was like becoming friends with someone the day before they die. Useless. But the fever got worse by the night, and next day, and the next, and the next. The doctors said I had the Dengue fever and I had to keep rest for like a month if I didn’t want to be hospitalized, so that was how I missed a whole month of classes on my new school.
When I went back to school it felt like my first day again, I had so much homework, that same week I was having 2 tests and didn’t know from which class. I was screwed. Luckily my neighbor was on the same class as me, so she let me borrow her notes and do my homework with her, of course I was using her for my own benefit, I needed her to be my friend until I find another one who I actually liked. She introduced me to her group of friends, I didn’t like them either but I needed to survive this, so I kept talking to them.
Then I met Lai, Rose and Sophie. The first time I had to talk to Lai, she didn’t even paid attention to me. She ignored me, it was so rude, I knew I was the new girl and I understood that maybe she didn’t want to work with me in that Physics workshop, I just wanted to know what I was supposed to do in the workshop but she didn’t respond. After that day I never tried to talk to her again.
I don't even remember at what exact point or how I met Rose. But she was nice, she also liked books and that was good enough for me, she started talking to me more and more in classes, but she never asked me to eat breakfast with her friends, I thought maybe she felt embarrassed because she was becoming friends with the new girl or that her friends didn't like me, and I was ok with that because I didn't want Lai to ignore me again. But eventually I had to talk to Lai, she was Rose's best friend so I couldn't avoid her forever. Rose told Lai about the book I recommended her -Hush, Hush. Rose loved the series and she shared the same bookish love with Lai, so she made me tell Lai about the plot of the book. I felt completely at ease with them, relieved that I could become friends with these two so I didn't have to keep hanging out with the other group of girls. Weeks later Lai told me that she loved the books, and we started talking about books and recommending books to each other, it was nice. I've never had something like that. I've never met someone who loved reading so much. Our friendship started to grow so fast that I was just being friends with her for 3 weeks and I was already having a sleepover at her house. I don't know if she knows this, but that was my first sleepover, ever. And my parents didn't know her let alone her parents. It definitely escalated pretty quickly.
Months went by and our bond grew stronger. Not only with Lai, but with Rose and Sophie, they were fun too but I didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable with them, I still don't. That year (2013) so many things occurred, I wasn't getting any better at my personal problems and Lai noticing changed all, I thought that she would stop talking to me or that she'd spread the word and I would be the bullying target again. But none of that happened, she gave me a draw instead, she stood by my side without saying a word or giving me a hug, and that was all I've ever needed, her understanding.
In our senior year we were almost inseparable, they were times that she or Sophie and Rose started to tell stories about kindergarten and asking me things like "Kate, do you remember when we were in kindergarten and had to dance for the annual project?". It was sweet because I felt that too, like I was friends with them since always, somehow that made me feel welcomed, like I truly was a part of the group and not an outsider.
But of course not everything was perfect, at the middle of senior year Lai started drifting apart, I did not know why, I was so scared, sad and anxious searching for previous moments where I could have upset her with something I've said or done, I didn't know what was wrong with her, she didn't want to talk to me or text me back. So what did I do? I stopped talking to her too because I was and I am a crappy friend.
What I have forgotten was a tiny detail; she had told us like 3 months earlier that she was leaving the country that summer, after the graduation. By leaving the country I mean moving abroad. When she mentioned that again was when all clicked on my head. She wasn't upset with me, she was trying to cut bonds with everyone, because she knew it'll hurt when the time of leaving had to come. She was right, I understood her, but I wasn't letting her to push me away just because of that, our friendship was more important that 100 miles away, so I literally stood by her side until the last day in the country, I even packed her bags, I tried everything to be supportive and to be happy for her. I was happy for her, but I felt like a lonely bird in a cage after their friends got away flying to new lands. Had spent that amount of time with her before her departure was not a good idea, at all.
So I decided that I am not keep telling the whole story with the details just like Lai did in her post, instead I’ll tell you how important a friendship is when you most need it. You know when your parents tell you that you meet the love of your life at an exact and perfect time? And when it happens you just know that’s the person who is meant to be with you, your soulmate. The same thing happens with friends, we always think that our soulmates are supposed to be our boyfriends, girlfriends or husbands, but it doesn’t work that way. We can find our soulmate in anyone, cousin, uncle, mom, brothers, etc. Sometimes we have the gift to find our soulmates in our best friends, and what’s more perfect than that? I’m sure that Lai is my soulmate, but she is also my sister and my family. I know because sometimes I hate her so much that my inner sociopath wants to strangulate her because she doesn’t believes me that she is great, I know that she is my soulmate because if she is happy I am happy too, I know it because I don’t care if she have problems or if she is selfish sometimes, that doesn’t define her. There are so many things I could say that I could turn this in a book series and Cassandra Clare would be jealous. The thing is that Lai appeared in my life when I needed the most, when I was so selfish that I didn’t care for others people problems, I just acted like I was the only human being on this world, so when Lai shared a personal problem with me I stopped my own world and let her live with me in there, and just like that I knew that my purpose was to being her friend and be with her anytime she needed me. It’s funny how that made me open my eyes and even funnier that we basically become closer after talking our problems out, but somehow it worked.
It’s been almost 3 years since I haven’t seen Lai and it’s sad because I miss her everyday, I wish I could see her on weekends and talk face to face, but I don’t care, I still talk to her everyday, not because I have to, it’s because I want to, and that keeps me holding on the idea that sooner or later we’ll be reunited again.
I hope you enjoy our blog as much as we'll enjoying sharing our common interests and being weird all the time around here.
P.S: Unfortunately we’re not dating.
P.S. 2: We are not lesbians.
P.S. 3: LAI, I'M GOOD AT PHYSICS.
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